Sunday 6 November 2011

Relax, switch off and feel good!

Whilst on my recent holiday I wrote a few words I would like to share with you.

I find myself sitting on the beach, in the sunshine, listening to the rolling waves, knowing that today is the last day of my holiday. I have been very relaxed until now and I can’t help but think about work and the tasks that I need to deal with when I get back.

Many people go on holiday and for the first few days find themselves worrying about the work they left behind and spend the last few days thinking about the work, issues and stress they have to come back to. Therefore, much of their holiday is taken up by worry and stress. But why do we worry about things that are gone and we cannot change, or things that have not happened yet? Why do we preoccupy our mind with worrying about the past or the future rather than enjoying the NOW? Even if we spend 1 hour a day thinking and worrying about something we have no control over at that particular time, by the end of the week we would have spent nearly 1 working day of needless worry, we would lose 365 hours a year that we could use much more productively. Over a few years, that is months of wasted time that causes us more unnecessary stress and unhappiness. Worry has never solved anything and as Leo Buscaglia used to say “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy”.

So if for some of us it takes a while to reach a state of relaxation which then gets cut short even on holiday, a thing which should supposedly represent relaxation, how are we supposed to find peace and relaxation during every day life?

A well rested and refreshed mind is much more productive, and this is something which can be easily overlooked.

What can we do to be able to just switch off and relax when we wish to? Here are some suggestions that help me become more relaxed and switch off:

Breathing is essential not only because your brain requires an adequate amount of oxygen for clear thinking, your muscles need it for vitality and your body releases 70% of its toxins through breathing but also because changing your breathing is one of the quickest and most effective ways of changing how you feel. Sitting quietly and allowing your breathing to become calmer and slower relaxes your body and can produce a calmer mental, physical and emotional state within a few minutes.

Take time to think about what causes you stress. Build your awareness and pay attention to different signs, situations, reasons that trigger your worry. Make a list of what you can do to be in control of your emotions and stay calm and relaxed.  

Find and decide on a place, a room or location which will be your place of relaxation so every time you enter your special place, associate it with “switching off time”. Eventually your subconscious will also accept it which will make it easier to relax.

Make and take time for yourself. During “your” time do what makes you happy and relaxed, whether it’s pampering, meditating to control your mind chatter or spending time with people who help you switch off. Do what works for you. When you do what you enjoy, your mind will be concentrating on positive experience and things that give you pleasure rather than on negative emotions.

Choose a specific day and time for relaxation. Stick to it, make it a routine. Don’t feel guilty if you have a project to finish and instead you are taking time to relax. At the end of the day you will be more productive if you have clear and relaxed mind.

Do not let others destroy or distract your down time. Let them know that during your relaxing time you are not available. If you have a family and kids who are likely to interrupt you while you are relaxing and “recharging your batteries”, talk to them about a possible method of letting them know that you would like to not be disturbed, for example: put a sign on the door saying “I am relaxing” to avoid others coming into the room or being noisy. Do the same for others, respect their relaxation time.

The above are just suggestions not rules; however it is important to be aware that sometimes we may not give ourselves enough time to recuperate to give us more energy and make us feel good, so remember to take some guilt free time for yourself!

Thursday 7 July 2011

What determines success?


Recently I attended the National Achievers Congress which took place in London between 2-4th July 2011. The event was very motivating, thought provoking and left me wondering what it is that makes some people more successful than others? The event welcomed 15 speakers including Tony Robbins, Lord Alan Sugar, and Sir Richard Branson, to name a few…

Each speaker shared their story and nuggets of wisdom and although many were from different countries and cultures, different backgrounds and had different aspirations, I have come to realise that there are a few things that all of these speakers have in common.

VISION
Everything starts with a dream, vision or a goal.

Knowing exactly your goal not only keeps one focused on the end result but also helps to keep one motivated. If you do not know where you are going, how will you know when you get there? The more detailed and clear goal one has, the easier it will be to achieve it. Once you know your goal, you can start working on it.

DETERMINATION
As powerful and successful as those speakers are and appear now, many of them have been at rock bottom at some point. Whether homeless, with no money or with a lack of formal education, they have managed to find a way out of that negative situation. Those daunting circumstances made them even more determined to improve their life and did not discourage them from dreaming big and achieving even bigger.


CONFIDENCE
Successful people beam with confidence. You can see it in the way they walk, talk and look at you. They come across comfortable when speaking in front of thousands of people and doing things that seem impossible for a “normal human being”.

People often have the preconception that successful people have been always like this. In reality, this perception is far from the truth. Not everyone was born with a bundle of confidence or as a natural public speaker. A lot of the time successful people have had to learn confident body language, and master their tone of voice and eye contact. The approach of “fake it till you make it” is applied more often than many may think. However, successful people always believe in themselves, their abilities and their success. If you do not believe in yourself, you can not expect other people to believe you.

TAKING ACTION  
In order to achieve any task, one needs to take action. Be proactive, do not wait until everything is just right as you could miss out on a great opportunity. Assess what is the worst that can happen, trust your guts, be brave and take the plunge. If something goes wrong, at least you have tried and you will learn from your mistakes. Next time it can only be better.

NOT GIVING UP WHEN THINGS GO WRONG
Most successful people will have tasted failure at least once before they accomplish their success. The secret of their success is picking themselves up when things go wrong and trying again. Don’t be discouraged by obstacles along your way, consider what you have learnt, be flexible, be open to take different approaches and do not concentrate on negatives. Instead think of your shortfalls in positive terms, learn from them and have the courage and resilience to continue. As Thomas Edison once said, a lot of people do not realise how close they were to success when they give up.

The National Achievers Congress made me think a lot about people, human behaviour, peoples’ expectations and aspirations.

It is not about being successful or rich; it is about achieving what success means to you. Whether it is feeling more confident, getting on with your family, getting a new job… Whatever circumstance or part of your life you want to improve, bearing these pearls of wisdom in mind will be beneficial in achieving your own success.

If you are lost, stuck in a rut or you are not sure where to start and how to make that vision reality, a life coach can help you work with you on making your goal your reality.