Unhelpful beliefs are very powerful and not only can stop us
from using our potential and achieving our goals, shape our decisions, but also
can make us feel powerless and can be devastating to our confidence, self-esteem
and state of mind. There is no one magic
formula of what to do to beat your limiting beliefs as different solutions will
work for different people but there are some steps you could take to start
taking control over them. Here are 5 steps that I and my clients often follow:
Recognise it
Building awareness of
what your limiting beliefs are and when they creep up is a starting point. You
can’t change something you are not aware of. Once you bring to the front of
your mind what reoccurring thoughts are having negative impact on you, you will
most likely start catching yourself subconsciously the moment those beliefs
appear. When you do, try to make a record of how often during the day you talk
yourself down.
Strip it down
Limiting beliefs all stem from fear and are simply a mechanism
to try and protect us. Even though they can be unhelpful, they often serve us a
higher purpose. Although we might want to let go of them, there might be a
reason (often we are not aware of) that makes us hold
onto them. Sometimes we hold onto them
because we believe they protect us from disappointment, criticism, hurt or
failure. Wanting to let go of the
limiting beliefs and at the same time holding on to them can cause ambivalence,
discomfort, an internal conflict and frustration therefore it is useful to build
understanding and establishing what is the reason behind it. Take a moment and
ask yourself:
What is the purpose of
that belief?
What does this belief
give you?
What impact letting go
of this belief would have on you/ your life?
Letting go of beliefs that have been with us for a long
time, especially those deep rooted beliefs formed in childhood is not easy and
can take a lot of time. You can however
learn how to manage them and use strategies to prevent them from holding you
hostage.
What is the trigger?
So you’ve established what and why, now let’s look at
when...
What is the trigger that makes your unhelpful belief pop up?
Is it a thought, a person, an action, a place or something else that activates
your belief? When does it usually happen? Is there a pattern or a cycle you
fall into? What would be the first step you can take to change it?
Look for evidence
How old is your
belief?
What is the evidence
it is true?
What is the evidence
it is NOT true?
Often, when we strongly believe something, we tend to look
for things that confirm we are right rather than looking for things that prove
us wrong. If you have been sabotaging yourself or established a habit of
looking for things that prove you right, then I encourage you to think twice as
hard about as many situations and evidence that prove that you may be mistaken.
Reframe it
Once you find evidence that have shaken up your old beliefs,
create new positive beliefs in place of your old unhelpful ones. If your belief
is “I am not good enough to ... (for example) get this job” you may change it
with “I have a lot of skills and strengths
I can offer” or “The more I learn / prepare / believe in myself, the
more chance I have got to get this job” or “other people can do it, so can I”. Choose a new, personal statement that works
for you. Repeat it as much as you can. If you are a frequent “talking myself
down” person, then it is likely it may feel unnatural and fake to suddenly change
your talk and habits (even if backed up by evidence) but in order to get
results, you have to put some work in. It’s all good to have a positive
statement but if you don’t do anything with it, then don’t expect great
results.
It is totally natural to have believes that limit us and
work against us but no belief has any meaning until we give it a meaning so be
mindful of not falling into the trap of creating beliefs that hinder your
potential.
Sharing is caring...
Share your thoughts or your tips for taking control over unhelpful
beliefs. Also, feel free to share this blog with others who might find it
beneficial.
