As I am writing this
short blog l can’t help myself but experience a mixture of feelings
and emotions like excitement and happiness as well as anxiety and
fear at the same time as I am waiting for an inevitable and huge
change to happen.
Any day now, I am
about to have my second baby. Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited
and part of me can’t wait, while the other part of me is trying to
hang on to the last moments of some sort of independence , sleep, me
time... The thought of another little person joining our little
family is beautiful and thrilling and hugely rewarding but the
thought of having another person dependant and relying on you for the
rest of your life can be quite scary at the same time.
I had a conversation
this morning with my husband about it. What he pointed out was that
before my first son was born, I had total independence to do what I
wanted to do and I wasn’t afraid to lose it. The change was somehow
different: more unknown and the build up to it was more (dare I say)
exciting. Somehow, this time maybe I appreciate the little
independence I have more than ever and that's why I try to cling on
to it as much as I can?
The benefits of this
change far outweigh the worries I am having and I am very lucky to be
going through this amazing experience but I am only human and
sometimes when worry creeps in, I prefer to accept it rather than
fight it. I wonder though, is it the change that makes me feel that
way or knowing or maybe actually not knowing what's around the
corner? It is quite fascinating to think that most people fear the
unknown which I feared less and was excited about, and now knowing
what's coming makes me more anxious... We all react to change
differently. For some stepping out of their comfort zone and the
unknown fills them with adrenaline and excitement, others get stiff
with fear when they have to change their ways so there is no one
solution that fits all when it comes to embracing change.
I personally think
change is good and necessary. I've proven it to myself over and over
again. Someone once said “if nothing ever changed, there would be
no butterflies”. I think it is just a matter of perspective. Change
can be beautiful, we just need to look for that beauty. It is easy to
talk ourselves out of change, allow the change to scare us. At the
same time, looking for the positives and advantages of change will
only help to get excited about it. As Wayne Dyer used to say, “If
you change the way you look at things, the things you look at
change”. We will always gain or lose something. There is always
some form of sacrifice we need to take in whatever we do.
Thoughts create our
reality. I think it is safe to say that we all have moments of
weakness, and that's ok; but then it is our choice only whether we
will allow the fear and worry take over or if we embrace the unknown.
I know what I choose: I choose to enjoy and cherish the beautiful
change about to happen in my life.
