Fear is known to us all. Throughout our lives, all of us have encountered or have been faced with fear, be it fear of the unknown, fear of failure or loss, fear of public speaking, or letting others down, fear of embarrassment or criticism, fear of spiders to name a few.
So what actually is fear?
Fear is a feeling, not a fact. It is as basic a human process as breathing or digestion. It is created by our imagination, our thoughts; it’s all in your mind. What you create on the inside becomes externalised.
Just imagine this scenario... You walk down a long, narrow alleyway. Beautiful, big trees stretch on both sides of the road. The sun is shining, it’s a beautiful morning. You are listening to some uplifting music and you are just enjoying the moment.
Now, let’s change the scenario slightly... You are walking home that evening from your friend’s house. You spent the evening together watching scary movies. You are walking along the same alleyway you had walked in the morning but this time it’s dark. Every time you pass next to a big tree, the tree’s shadow “follows” you. You start thinking to yourself... Is someone following me? You take your headphones off and suddenly you hear a noise but you can’t see anyone. You start walking faster ... What direction will your imagination lead you now? What are you likely to be thinking to yourself? Are your False Expectations Appearing Real?
Fear is the response to what our brain perceives as risk, threat or danger, whether it’s real or imagined. The response can be on a physiological level i.e. raising the heartbeat, sweating, funny tummy as well as psychological, like talking yourself into feeling more fearful. We learn to become fearful through life experiences, and even seeing others being fearful can also create fear in us.
How we react to fear can really impact our life and our future. Fear can steal joy and really limit our actions and hold us back from enjoying our lives and feeling good. It can interfere with our ability to thrive and by being fearful we may end up missing out on a lot of the opportunities that life has to offer. It’s the response to fear that will determine your outcome, whether you Forget Everything And Run, or Face Everything And Rise... Some people get paralysed by fear while others strive and get motivated by fear. So why is that? What makes people react to fear so differently?
It can be a lot of different factors i.e. personality type and preferences, upbringing, our values and beliefs, experience, perseverance, approach and resistance to fear to name a few...
Fear however, is a personal experience. We all have different fears and levels at which fear affects us. One person might be petrified of something that another person is totally fine with. Let me share with you my fear…
When I was a little girl there was a very popular serial drama on TV called “Twin Peaks” created by David Lynch. For those of you who haven’t heard of it, it was a very dark, twisted, surreal, supernatural, psychological show. It had a huge negative impact on me as I was petrified to watch it but at the same time I was determined to watch it because “everyone” did. Even the theme music from the show gives me shivers to this day… I know some people who loved the show and got exhilarated every time it was on. For me though, I associate “Twin Peaks” with fear…
We all have our own fears that affect us, some more than others. Feeling fearful is a part of our life and therefore denying it is not going to solve the problem. There are things you can do to reduce your fears and learn to live with them comfortably, and this is what I will share with you in my next blog post…
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