We
wouldn’t
be human if we were not affected in one way or the other by our
setbacks. Being able to adapt to challenges, cope with adversity and
recover from difficulties is a skill many of us wish to have. Here
are some tips to help you build your RESILIENCE.
R Reflect
on your performance objectively. What worked? What went wrong? What
needs improving? If you could do it again, what would you do
differently? Setbacks can feel personal so staying objective and
looking at things from the observer’s
perspective can help you see things rationally and logically, without
getting emotional.
E End goal Keep
your eyes on the prize and keep going. Don’t
lose sight of your goal and what matters to you because if it really
matters, you will find the strength and motivation to achieve it.
Most highly successful people failed on numerous occasions before
they accomplished their goals. What often determines their success is
the refusal to give up when they face obstacles; instead they find a
way to overcome them. Knowing what it is you aspire to achieve and
wanting it with every part of your body will help you carry on when
things get tough.
S Strengths When things are not going our way, it is easy to concentrate on
negatives and our weaknesses. In those moments arises the perfect
opportunity to remind yourself about your strengths and triumphs and
acknowledge your progress, however small it may be. Draw on your
strong points, be kind to yourself, challenge your negative thinking
and remember that if you have been resourceful before, you have it in
you to be resourceful again.
I Internal
dialog What
do you say to yourself when you don’t
succeed or get rejected? Is your language positive and encouraging or
negative, unhelpful and demotivating? Language and the words you use
really matter as they impact how you feel and how you behave so pay
attention to your language and chose your words wisely.
L Learning What did you learn from the experience that you can use in the
future? How can you use this knowledge to your advantage? Life throws
lessons at us every day and sometimes the more we know, the more we
realise how little we know which can be overwhelming. Learning never
ends...just remember “Rome
wasn’t
built in a day”.
I Interrupt the negative cycle Stress and worry are caused by how we perceive a situation, not
the situation itself. The choice of how you respond to a situation
will determine your outcome. Let’s
say, you don’t
get the job you interviewed for. If you respond by thinking you
failed, you are not good enough, the way you will feel will be
negative and hinder your confidence. If however you decide to respond
more rationally by saying for example that although you were not
successful, having an interview was good practice so I will be better
prepared in the future or that there might have been other candidates
who were more experienced etc, the way you feel about the situation
will not be as negative as in the first scenario. In order to get out
of the negative cycle, something needs to change, the cycle needs to
be broken. Build awareness of your beliefs about a situation, because
they will determine your action and results.
E Expectations Are your expectations realistic? What are the gaps (in your
knowledge, experience etc.) you need to address? What / who is
preventing you from achieving your goal? If your expectations are
realistic, you are more likely to achieve your goals therefore have
more confidence and motivation to take action.
N Network of people
Think about the people around you. Who are your drainers and who are
your fillers? Who do you need to see less? Who in your circle of
acquaintances do you respect and would like to learn from? Surround
yourself with people who support you and have positive impact on you,
rather than those who drain your energy. Having someone who you can
bounce ideas off and someone you can talk to can really help when you
feel down.
C Count your blessings
and practice gratitude. No matter how bad your situation is, there is
always someone out there who is in a much worse situation than you
are. Always! Look at it this way; there are people out there who wish
they had your problems and your bad days. Rather than concentrating
on how unlucky and unfortunate you are, take time to remind yourself
how lucky you really are.
E Evaluate Thinking about all the above tips, as well your own ideas, ask
yourself: If you were going to do one thing that would help you feel
better about your situation, what would it be? What would you do if
you knew you could not fail?
I
would like to leave you with this final thought by the great Ralph
Waldo Emerson “Don’t
be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams”.
