ls the grass always greener on the other side?

We live in a day and age where our lives are much more exposed and in the open than ever before. The power of social media often offers us a glorified, enhanced and filtered version of one’s life which might be just a fraction of what is happening in reality.

Seeing others doing well, having a better job, great partner and circle of friends, gorgeous, big and always tidy house, going on amazing holidays and so on, may make us put more pressure on ourselves to change things for the better or strive for more, which in some cases may turn out be a good motivator. In other cases this pressure can demotivate us, make us question our abilities, look for imperfections in our lives and effectively impact our mental health. It is easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others and constant lack of satisfaction which can lead to negative feelings, envy or loss of confidence and motivation.

So what are some ways we could deal with it?

Accept your reality

Maybe the best way to start is actually accepting our reality. You may not be 100% happy with it, but it is your reality and you are the only one responsible for it and the only one who can take action to improve or change it.

Practice gratitude

Sometimes bad and unfortunate events make us realise how fortunate and lucky we actually are, but rather than waiting to have this realisation it might be worth taking time to think about what we have rather than what’s missing. Sometimes life tests us and puts roadblocks in our way but I hope you will agree that most of us experience difficulties at some point. What divides us is how we deal with adversity when it happens. Some bounce back and some give up or blame others for their misfortune. No matter how bad your day or life is, there are probably people out there who would love to be in your shoes and have your bad days.

Mental workout

Just like the muscles in our body need exercise to make them strong and toned, our mind needs positive input and thoughts to stay healthy and strong. Build awareness of your thoughts and start neglecting the thoughts that make you feel bad, and increase those that make you feel good. Sometimes that's easier said than done, but one thing is certain, practice makes perfect.

Stop comparing

We are all different, we all have different values, goals and different circumstances.

We create our perception based on what we see and hear despite the fact that our impressions are not always accurate and pixels don't always reflect reality. People rarely share things that go wrong or make them unhappy.

Only those who lead their own life know the truth. A study conducted by the University of Utah actually found that young people's satisfaction about their own lives declined the more they looked at Facebook. If comparing yourself to others makes you feel inferior, then that's not going to make you feel good about yourself and your situation.

Is the comparison worth sacrificing your mental state?

So is the grass actually greener on the other side?

Maybe it is time to start watering your own lawn, as the grass will only be as green as you make it.

Too many things to do, not enough time...

Too many things to do, not enough time…

I am sure I am not the only one who sometimes finds herself frustrated when I have a long list of things to do and not enough time to complete them all.

Apart from having a long list, I have more ideas that keep occurring to me. Although one could think that that is very helpful, sometimes being blessed with too many ideas can also feel like a curse. The more ideas keep coming to me, my mind is more occupied and I find myself distracted from one task, as there is plenty more I can concentrate on… so frustration comes again…this time because I am not effectively using my time to complete what I have started.

Sound familiar?

Wait, there is more…

Do you have a perfectionist within you that sometimes wakes up and says “this is not good enough”, “you can do better than that”? As every task can always be improved, now, procrastination kicks in. Rather than completing the task I am working on, now I am looking for ways to improve it which can distract me for days from achieving the finished result.

There are a few things that I do to help me find focus and help me more effectively complete my tasks. I hope you will find them useful too.

Think on paper

Before you get on with any task, spend some time on planning and setting your priorities. Sometimes people may think that sitting down and taking time to think about what they need to do is not as productive as taking action, but the point they are missing is the fact that unless they have a very clear direction, they are likely to be distracted along the way and waste a lot of time. Take time to capture your ideas as the quicker you will have it done, the quicker you can get started to achieve them.

Set your priorities using ABC Method

Brian Tracy talks about a very simple priority setting technique that I believe is very effective.

Once you have a list of things to do, place an A, B, or C before each item on your list before you begin the first task.
"A" stands for "very important" something you must do otherwise there might be some negative or serious consequences if the task is not completed.
"B" stands for "important" something you should do. There might be some negative, mild consequences if the task is not completed. B tasks are not as important as A tasks.
"C" stands for things that are "nice to do" If not completed, there are no negative consequences. C task is not as important as 'A' or 'B,' tasks.

When deciding what letter you are going to put by each task, think about your goals and objectives so that the priorities you set are moving you in the direction of something that is of real value to you.
Once you have determined your ABC tasks, prioritize these tasks by writing A-1, A-2, A-3, and so on in front of each item. Your A-1 task is the biggest and most important task you need to complete. Do the same for B and C items. You should never do a "B" task when there is an "A" task left undone.

Avoid distractions and discipline yourself

If you are lacking self discipline, you are not the only one! People can always find distractions and “more important” things to do that will stop them or pull aside from achieving their task.

Rather than beating yourself up about being distracted, making excuses or feeling sorry for yourself, build in discipline to every task you do. Promise yourself to do nothing else until this one job is complete. Make a conscious decision and ask yourself the question: “How will I feel when I achieve my goal” or “What consequences will I face if do not complete my task”

Keep your end goal in mind and imagine how satisfied and happy you will feel when you complete the task. Say no to all distractions and focus on accomplishing your priorities. If you feel really stuck and your inspiration is gone, have a quick break to take your mind off things, maybe talk to a like minded friend to bounce some ideas off, go for a quick walk, take a deep breath and come back to the task refreshed and more stimulated.

Once you start completing tasks that matter to you and add value, as opposed to tasks that take your time but don’t give you desired results you will feel enthusiastic, motivated and satisfied by achieving your goals.

Reward yourself

When you complete the task, reward yourself for doing well. Your reward could be anything from words of encouragement “Well done”, a cup of hot chocolate, a walk, hot bubble bath or watching a movie with someone whose company you enjoy. Do something you like.

Although there is never enough time to do everything, there is always enough time to do the most important things, so make sure you choose your tasks wisely!

Good luck!