We all have our own methods and tools that help us to stay focused, motivated and productive. One of those might be a “to-do list”. There are a lot of benefits of having a list of things to remind you what you need to do, helping you prioritise your tasks and give you a sense of achievement when you tick off achieved tasks.
Recently I came across a few interesting articles and some research that indicates that to-do lists can be overwhelming, ineffective and can leave you feeling demotivated and pressurised.
Emotions play an essential role in how we think and solve problems. They impact our motivation and productivity, therefore if those emotions are negative, they will narrow our thinking, creativity, memory and efficiency. Positive feelings on the other hand will increase our intrinsic motivation, whilst improving cognitive flexibility and analytical skills.
According to data collected by a company called iDoneThis, 41% of to-do list items never get done and only 15% of completed tasks were ever on a to-do list in the first place, so therefore there will always be unfinished tasks on your list. Furthermore, because there are often incomplete items on your list, it can be seen as a nagging tool provoking anxiety, feelings of failure and worry that you have not accomplished what you set yourself to do.
Software pioneer, Marc Andreessen suggests the substitution of a to-do list with what he calls an anti to-do list, or if you will a ‘Done List’. Rather than having a list of things to do, replace it with a record of your daily accomplishments instead. Recording your wins and achievements will create a rush of endorphins, increase your energy levels, motivation and give you a sense of satisfaction from completed tasks.
You may think that there is no point writing a list of things that you have already completed, but as research testifies, spending few minutes reflecting on your day and writing down your accomplishments will make you appreciate progress that would have otherwise gone unrecognized and will improve your ability to plan going forward. Making progress (even small wins) will also fuel your drive and engagement, boosting your energy and motivation, leaving you more productive. Additional study from Harvard Business School also suggests that setting aside 15 minutes of reflection at the end of each working day can make you better at your job and lead to better performance due to a boost in self-efficacy. Writing things down identifies what was helpful as well as providing a visual stimulus that will create positive feelings.
Everyone is different and some people probably will not be able to work without a to-do list, whereas for others, a list may not work. Whether you decide to use a to-do list or not, I think there is a real benefit in taking time to think about your day and celebrate your achievements. Just make an appointment with yourself, or if you'd rather put it on your list of things to do... :)
Saturday, 31 May 2014
Wednesday, 30 April 2014
Building Self-Awareness
It has been a month since I started my 100 Happy Days challenge. It’s has been a difficult month for me personally and at times keeping a positive outlook has proven to be tricky. I have found a few obstacles in my way but I have to say that the 100 Happy Days Challenge has helped me to remain positive and has heightened my awareness and gratitude for life.
The moment I signed up for the challenge and made myself accountable to others who knew about it, I started consciously searching for things in my day that made me smile and made me happy. I started paying attention to the things I have in my life that I should be more grateful for.
Most people by nature tend to have more negative than positive thoughts during a day and with our busy life and schedules we “don’t have time” to spend analysing our day and thinking about what made us happy. Instead we often clutter our minds with worries about the future and criticizing ourselves for errors, questioning our abilities, you name it… All this negative “fuel” filters into our consciousness and damages our positivity and our feelings. If you leave these negative thoughts hanging around and don't challenge them, they will not just disappear.
The language you use along with your beliefs will be absorbed by your subconscious. Your thoughts activate your emotions, both positive and negative, so the choice of your thoughts will determine how you feel. Therefore developing self-awareness is the first step to transforming your thoughts. Remember, that you are the only person who is in charge of your thoughts, emotions, responses and actions.
That is why building your thought awareness is so important. The moment you consciously start paying attention to your thoughts and become aware of what’s going on in your head, you will become able to identify the things that need to be challenged or changed. This also means that you will be able to notice and choose how you think about yourself, behave, talk to yourself and how you respond to different situations…
Self-awareness begins with attention. When we keep conscious attention to our thoughts and behaviour, we will know what needs to be improved.
There are different ways of building your thought awareness: keeping a diary of your thoughts, deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, gratitude list to name a few. For me the 100 Happy Days challenge is proving to be a positive reminder of how lucky I really am, even if things seem bad at first.
I would encourage anyone to give it a try and join the challenge. If you would like to keep up to date with my progress, follow me on twitter @lifecoachplease
The moment I signed up for the challenge and made myself accountable to others who knew about it, I started consciously searching for things in my day that made me smile and made me happy. I started paying attention to the things I have in my life that I should be more grateful for.
Most people by nature tend to have more negative than positive thoughts during a day and with our busy life and schedules we “don’t have time” to spend analysing our day and thinking about what made us happy. Instead we often clutter our minds with worries about the future and criticizing ourselves for errors, questioning our abilities, you name it… All this negative “fuel” filters into our consciousness and damages our positivity and our feelings. If you leave these negative thoughts hanging around and don't challenge them, they will not just disappear.
The language you use along with your beliefs will be absorbed by your subconscious. Your thoughts activate your emotions, both positive and negative, so the choice of your thoughts will determine how you feel. Therefore developing self-awareness is the first step to transforming your thoughts. Remember, that you are the only person who is in charge of your thoughts, emotions, responses and actions.
That is why building your thought awareness is so important. The moment you consciously start paying attention to your thoughts and become aware of what’s going on in your head, you will become able to identify the things that need to be challenged or changed. This also means that you will be able to notice and choose how you think about yourself, behave, talk to yourself and how you respond to different situations…
Self-awareness begins with attention. When we keep conscious attention to our thoughts and behaviour, we will know what needs to be improved.
There are different ways of building your thought awareness: keeping a diary of your thoughts, deep breathing, mindfulness, meditation, gratitude list to name a few. For me the 100 Happy Days challenge is proving to be a positive reminder of how lucky I really am, even if things seem bad at first.
I would encourage anyone to give it a try and join the challenge. If you would like to keep up to date with my progress, follow me on twitter @lifecoachplease
Monday, 31 March 2014
Happiness challenge
These days almost anything is available to us. Shop shelves are filled with products, any type of food is widely available, we are spoilt for choice in almost any area of our life. You would think that having more choice would make us happier, but according to numerous studies, it appears that people are not as happy as they used to be. Do constantly growing expectations, increasing satisfaction and constant desire to do, have or be more make us forget about the little, simple things that matter? Let's be honest here, how much time do you take to appreciate what you have, before you think about what it is that you want to have? Don't get me wrong, it is important to have goals, strive for more if that's what makes you happy, but the bottom line is be grateful for and appreciate what you already have in the first place.
Sadly, in Februaury 2014, a lady called Alice Herz-Sommer who was believed to have been the world's oldest Holocaust survivor peacefully passed away at the age of 110. You may think, how is this relevant?... Well, Alice was my inspiration. Despite great hardship and difficulties in her life she retained an extremely positive attitude and gratitude for life. Her devotion to music (she played piano for 3 hours a day), and treating life as a “present” helped her see beauty in the world. When she was asked what made her so positive she said: "I am looking for the nice things in life. I know about the bad things, but I look only for the good things”. I wish more of us were like Alice.
Happiness is available and achievable to all of us. It is determined by our minds rather than by circumstances, so the choice of our thoughts will have impact on our sense of well-being and happiness. Once we are aware of our thoughts, we can condition our mind to be more positive by choosing happy thoughts and limiting the negative ones. Actions are also a crucial part of creating a habit therefore what we do will also greatly enhance or diminish our experience of happiness. Habit is like a muscle; in order to be strengthened, it needs to be exercised and practised over and over again.
I consider myself a happy person, but there is always room for improvement. Therefore to condition myself to be happier and more grateful, I am joining the #100HappyDays challenge.
So this is how it works: I need to take and upload a picture of anything that makes me happy for 100 consecutive days. I can upload pictures via social media using the hash tag #100happydays but to avoid publicity I can also e-mail pictures directly to the 100HappyDays team.
People who have successfully completed the challenge claim they became more optimistic and appreciative of life after the challenge. Because they were recording daily things that made them happy, participants were conditioned to look for these events, objects, and people, becoming more aware of things that they were grateful for.
There is no doubt that gratitude and appreciation will increase one's feelings of happiness and once my challenge is completed I will share my findings with you.
If you feel that you need or want to be more positive and appreciate life more, it would be great if you would like to join me in this challenge. For more information on #100HappyDays challenge visit www.100happydays.com
Sadly, in Februaury 2014, a lady called Alice Herz-Sommer who was believed to have been the world's oldest Holocaust survivor peacefully passed away at the age of 110. You may think, how is this relevant?... Well, Alice was my inspiration. Despite great hardship and difficulties in her life she retained an extremely positive attitude and gratitude for life. Her devotion to music (she played piano for 3 hours a day), and treating life as a “present” helped her see beauty in the world. When she was asked what made her so positive she said: "I am looking for the nice things in life. I know about the bad things, but I look only for the good things”. I wish more of us were like Alice.
Happiness is available and achievable to all of us. It is determined by our minds rather than by circumstances, so the choice of our thoughts will have impact on our sense of well-being and happiness. Once we are aware of our thoughts, we can condition our mind to be more positive by choosing happy thoughts and limiting the negative ones. Actions are also a crucial part of creating a habit therefore what we do will also greatly enhance or diminish our experience of happiness. Habit is like a muscle; in order to be strengthened, it needs to be exercised and practised over and over again.
I consider myself a happy person, but there is always room for improvement. Therefore to condition myself to be happier and more grateful, I am joining the #100HappyDays challenge.
So this is how it works: I need to take and upload a picture of anything that makes me happy for 100 consecutive days. I can upload pictures via social media using the hash tag #100happydays but to avoid publicity I can also e-mail pictures directly to the 100HappyDays team.
People who have successfully completed the challenge claim they became more optimistic and appreciative of life after the challenge. Because they were recording daily things that made them happy, participants were conditioned to look for these events, objects, and people, becoming more aware of things that they were grateful for.
There is no doubt that gratitude and appreciation will increase one's feelings of happiness and once my challenge is completed I will share my findings with you.
If you feel that you need or want to be more positive and appreciate life more, it would be great if you would like to join me in this challenge. For more information on #100HappyDays challenge visit www.100happydays.com
Thursday, 27 February 2014
The importance of resilience.
I’ve always admired those who are resilient, who can adapt and bounce back when things are not going their way.
People like Thomas Edison, James Dyson, Richard Branson and JK Rowling who we admire today, achieved great success because of their resilience and refusal to give up.
It is an inevitable part of our lives that we will make mistakes, are going to fail from time to time and the only way to avoid it seems to be living a very safe life, never trying to do anything new or take risks…but how many of us want to live this way?
Some people find it easier than others to recover from setbacks. According to psychologist Susan Kobasa, there are 3 essentials attitudes that support resilience:
Commitment - Resilient people know what they want and they are committed to their goals and aspirations, things and people that are important to them. They don’t get discouraged when things are not going according to their plan, instead, they concentrate on a positive image of the future.
Control - Resilient people focus on things that they have control over. They concentrate on present and future rather than focusing on their past (unless they use past experiences as a learning lesson for their future). People who dwell on past events which they can’t change and control, often think of themselves as victims, feel helpless and lost, and unable to get out of this unhelpful cycle.
Challenge – Resilient people see opportunities for growth and learning from their mistakes. They embrace change and see obstacles and failures as temporary setbacks and milestones that help them move forward rather than stopping them from achieving their goal.
Another characteristic that resilient people have in common is a positive outlook on their lives. Staying positive when things are working against you can be difficult, but staying optimistic about the future and finding positives even in the worst of circumstances is a very important part of resilience. Concentrating on negatives will not only not help you to move forward, but can also crush your confidence and belief in your abilities.
There are many things that you can do to work on building your resilience and some of them are:
Know what is that you want – Being clear on what you want to achieve will help you focus your attention on what matters to you. This will build your commitment to the task and your motivation to achieve your goal. The higher the motivation, the more determined you will be to achieve it so when you meet obstacles in your way, it will be easier to overcome them. Being flexible and able to adapt to change and unexpected situations is also an essential part of resilience.
Always improve your skills – Resilience is a skill that can be learnt. The more you get exposed to events and setbacks you need to overcome, the more chances you have to practice your resilience. Focus on improving skills that most resilient people have. Put yourself out of your comfort zone, learn from your mistakes, combat the challenges you face.
Build awareness of your language – The way we speak to ourselves has a huge impact on how we feel and how we behave. Negative thoughts and language can drain our energy and stifle our self belief and confidence, derailing us from progress therefore it is crucial to replace the negative monolog with positive self talk and thoughts. Confidence and self esteem have impact on the level of stress and your capability to recover from challenging events therefore remind yourself of your achievements, strengths and abilities, and build the courage to take the risks you need to move forward.
Look after yourself – Good health and wellbeing are fundamental to our mental and emotional resilience therefore integrating healthy diet, good quality sleep and exercise into your life will help you in coping with stress and will make you feel good.
Surround yourself with positive, encouraging, resistant to stress people – Having someone you can rely on, confide in and get support from in a difficult situation is very important. Sharing your concerns and having someone who can help you come up with solutions and bounce ideas off can be very encouraging.
Your response will determine your outcome –Each of us are faced with different choices on a daily basis. Two people can respond to the same situation very differently and it is the response that will determine whether the outcome is positive or negative. Resilient people tend to look for positives in every situation; they remain calm and collected under pressure so adopting this behaviour will help to build your own resilience.
Develop the curiosity and courage to go for what matters to you. Everyone at some point falls down, but those who win always stand up again!
People like Thomas Edison, James Dyson, Richard Branson and JK Rowling who we admire today, achieved great success because of their resilience and refusal to give up.
It is an inevitable part of our lives that we will make mistakes, are going to fail from time to time and the only way to avoid it seems to be living a very safe life, never trying to do anything new or take risks…but how many of us want to live this way?
Some people find it easier than others to recover from setbacks. According to psychologist Susan Kobasa, there are 3 essentials attitudes that support resilience:
Commitment - Resilient people know what they want and they are committed to their goals and aspirations, things and people that are important to them. They don’t get discouraged when things are not going according to their plan, instead, they concentrate on a positive image of the future.
Control - Resilient people focus on things that they have control over. They concentrate on present and future rather than focusing on their past (unless they use past experiences as a learning lesson for their future). People who dwell on past events which they can’t change and control, often think of themselves as victims, feel helpless and lost, and unable to get out of this unhelpful cycle.
Challenge – Resilient people see opportunities for growth and learning from their mistakes. They embrace change and see obstacles and failures as temporary setbacks and milestones that help them move forward rather than stopping them from achieving their goal.
Another characteristic that resilient people have in common is a positive outlook on their lives. Staying positive when things are working against you can be difficult, but staying optimistic about the future and finding positives even in the worst of circumstances is a very important part of resilience. Concentrating on negatives will not only not help you to move forward, but can also crush your confidence and belief in your abilities.
There are many things that you can do to work on building your resilience and some of them are:
Know what is that you want – Being clear on what you want to achieve will help you focus your attention on what matters to you. This will build your commitment to the task and your motivation to achieve your goal. The higher the motivation, the more determined you will be to achieve it so when you meet obstacles in your way, it will be easier to overcome them. Being flexible and able to adapt to change and unexpected situations is also an essential part of resilience.
Always improve your skills – Resilience is a skill that can be learnt. The more you get exposed to events and setbacks you need to overcome, the more chances you have to practice your resilience. Focus on improving skills that most resilient people have. Put yourself out of your comfort zone, learn from your mistakes, combat the challenges you face.
Build awareness of your language – The way we speak to ourselves has a huge impact on how we feel and how we behave. Negative thoughts and language can drain our energy and stifle our self belief and confidence, derailing us from progress therefore it is crucial to replace the negative monolog with positive self talk and thoughts. Confidence and self esteem have impact on the level of stress and your capability to recover from challenging events therefore remind yourself of your achievements, strengths and abilities, and build the courage to take the risks you need to move forward.
Look after yourself – Good health and wellbeing are fundamental to our mental and emotional resilience therefore integrating healthy diet, good quality sleep and exercise into your life will help you in coping with stress and will make you feel good.
Surround yourself with positive, encouraging, resistant to stress people – Having someone you can rely on, confide in and get support from in a difficult situation is very important. Sharing your concerns and having someone who can help you come up with solutions and bounce ideas off can be very encouraging.
Your response will determine your outcome –Each of us are faced with different choices on a daily basis. Two people can respond to the same situation very differently and it is the response that will determine whether the outcome is positive or negative. Resilient people tend to look for positives in every situation; they remain calm and collected under pressure so adopting this behaviour will help to build your own resilience.
Develop the curiosity and courage to go for what matters to you. Everyone at some point falls down, but those who win always stand up again!
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Reflect, consolidate and move forward...
As the end of the year is rapidly approaching, it is a good time to reflect and
review the last 12 months, to celebrate your achievements, appreciate your efforts and to analyse what stopped you from achieving your goals (if any) and resolutions that you set yourself at the beginning of the year.
Sometimes I find I can be quite hard on myself if I haven't accomplished everything I set myself to achieve, but then I wonder if the goals I set were realistic or if any goal I haven't achieved was that important to me anyway, because if I really really wanted it to happen, I would have found the time, energy and motivation, and would have done everything in my power to achieve it, right? Then, I think to myself that maybe I expect too much from myself? Sounds familiar?
Whatever the reason may be, I think it is crucial to take time to think about what is really important to you and what you would like to accomplish in the year to come. If the goal you are setting really matters to you, then you are more likely to find the motivation and drive to achieve it. To help you appreciate your accomplishments and set important goals you may want to consider some of the questions below:
Reviewing the last year:
What have been your 3 biggest achievements / accomplishments of 2013?
What are you most proud of achieving?
What are the top three lessons you have learned this year?
What one personal quality have you developed most in 2013? (For example: patience, empathy or courage etc.)
Planning the year to come:
What are your top three priorities for the coming year?
What makes it important to you?
What would your end goal look / feel / sound like?
What would the outcome be if you achieve your goal?
What would be the consequences of not achieving your goal?
How will you achieve your goal?
Who can support you in achieving your goal?
When will you achieve it by?
You don't need to wait until January to make a list of your New Year's resolutions. Your goals can be set any time of the year, all you need is a pen and paper. I hope that these few questions will help you with successful goal setting.
Good luck!
review the last 12 months, to celebrate your achievements, appreciate your efforts and to analyse what stopped you from achieving your goals (if any) and resolutions that you set yourself at the beginning of the year.
Sometimes I find I can be quite hard on myself if I haven't accomplished everything I set myself to achieve, but then I wonder if the goals I set were realistic or if any goal I haven't achieved was that important to me anyway, because if I really really wanted it to happen, I would have found the time, energy and motivation, and would have done everything in my power to achieve it, right? Then, I think to myself that maybe I expect too much from myself? Sounds familiar?
Whatever the reason may be, I think it is crucial to take time to think about what is really important to you and what you would like to accomplish in the year to come. If the goal you are setting really matters to you, then you are more likely to find the motivation and drive to achieve it. To help you appreciate your accomplishments and set important goals you may want to consider some of the questions below:
Reviewing the last year:
What have been your 3 biggest achievements / accomplishments of 2013?
What are you most proud of achieving?
What are the top three lessons you have learned this year?
What one personal quality have you developed most in 2013? (For example: patience, empathy or courage etc.)
Planning the year to come:
What are your top three priorities for the coming year?
What makes it important to you?
What would your end goal look / feel / sound like?
What would the outcome be if you achieve your goal?
What would be the consequences of not achieving your goal?
How will you achieve your goal?
Who can support you in achieving your goal?
When will you achieve it by?
You don't need to wait until January to make a list of your New Year's resolutions. Your goals can be set any time of the year, all you need is a pen and paper. I hope that these few questions will help you with successful goal setting.
Good luck!
Thursday, 31 October 2013
Time to reassess your priorities?
It has been a while since I’ve written anything. This year has been truly life changing for me and it’s been very busy at the same time. As some of you may know, I gave birth at the end of January to my lovely son Tomas. I also got married at the beginning of October so it definitely has been a very hectic and exciting year so far.
I have to admit that as much as I love, and continue coaching and helping others to improve their lives, my primary focus and priorities for the last year have been elsewhere….
Priorities are usually strongly connected to our value system, therefore what is important to us determines our priorities and what actions we take. Our actions speak for themselves, so if you notice that you are not taking action, maybe you should take time to review your priorities?
Our values and priorities change over time, but what is interesting is the fact that we tend to stop, question and look more deeply at the things that matter to us in light of a big life event such as illness, birth of a child, divorce, redundancy… Usually, when these things take place, people start appreciating their life more, start spending more quality time with family and friends, and look after their health more, but why does it take something major to happen before we take the time to think about what is important to us? Why do we get so immersed in things around us that actually are not that important? Maybe if we took more time to set our priorities correctly, we would place more attention and energy where it belongs and take action to improve our life and live the life we want to live.
So if you have lost your motivation, or noticed that you are drifting away from one or more of your core values, or simply haven’t taken action in the area of life that is important to you, then maybe this can be a good time to review your values and priorities?
Here is an exercise to look at what matters to you and to help you to gain alignment with what truly matters.
1. Write a list of the most important aspects of your life. These "aspects" will vary depending on your values and what matters to you in your life. Examples can be: Family, career, health / fitness, spiritual growth, friendship, money, fun, travel etc. Out of all the “aspects” of life you listed, which ones are the most important to you?
2. Make a list of the things you spend most of your time doing and thinking about. Now, be honest with yourself even if you are not proud of the activities and thoughts you focus on. Take inventory of your day today (as well as the past few days, weeks and months) and make a list of what you spend your time and attention on. Does it correlate with your values and priorities?
3. Compare the two lists and see how you can get them even more aligned. Don’t get discouraged if you notice that the lists are not very compatible. Instead spend some time investigating what you want to eliminate from your agenda and what you can do to spend your time and energy on what really matters to you!
Friday, 12 October 2012
How do you sustain confidence and self-esteem when faced with redundancy and unemployment?
There is no doubt that losing a job can be a very stressful and challenging experience. Sometimes it is hard not to take redundancy personally. Staying positive and confident can be tricky, especially now, with many people looking for work there is a lot of competition, so finding a new job can be just as difficult.
I am going to share with you a few things that might help you to stay positive, sustain your self-esteem and keep focused during this challenging time.
Accept the reality
Everyone reacts differently to change. Some people strive on challenge and see this situation as a new opportunity, others associate change with a source of great stress. Ultimately, there are two things you can do: accept your reality, recognise that your situation has changed and that you need to start thinking about strategies to improve it; or choose to think that you deserve a break after all those years of hard work and that things will just fall into place and sort themselves out.
You may want to have a short holiday or a break to think things through and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact a short break can be an ideal time to get inspiration and to feel positive about the future. However when you have had the break, it is important to start taking action as you may suddenly realise that things don’t fall into place on their own and you need to do something about it. Some people just want to bury their head in the sand and hope that all the stress will go away. Well, denial will not make your problems disappear or change your situation for the better. It may only help you feel better for a short time but in the long run it may drain your positive energy and replace it with stress and sadness.
Take time to think about your strengths, skills and resources
It is common that when people face redundancy or are unemployed, they start questioning their skills and abilities. It is important to take time out to analyse and evaluate your strengths, skills and resources. What skills or resources could help you in this challenging period? Who could help or support you through this change? Or, what are you good at? Sometimes, a simple question like this seems far more complicated during unemployment because people too often concentrate on the negatives and things that they are not good at. If you struggle to answer this, think about your previous achievements, things you are proud of however small they may be. What skills helped you achieve it? You can also ask your friends, family or your manager to add their contribution to your skills list. When you realise how many great skills and attributes you have, it will not only improve your confidence but will also make you feel good about yourself.
What do you want to do next?
When you find out about losing your job, especially a job you enjoy and love, your world can come crashing down and you may have no idea what to do next. Spending some time thinking about your new direction and career plan will help you get clarity. What job are you going to look for? People often make the mistake of applying for any old job available because they feel like they have to find something quickly. But will getting a less suitable job mean that you are going to sustain it and enjoy it? Of course, you need to take your experience into consideration and be realistic. However, remember that if you don’t know where you are heading, how will you know when you get there? Having a clear goal and direction is essential. It will help you stay focused, in control and confident.
Prepare yourself
When people find out that they are going to be made redundant, they might be a little bit lost in terms of what to do next.
Some employers may offer help to their employees and provide access to various courses and training that can help you improve your CV, jobsearch skills or interview skills. Unfortunately, the reality is that this does not happen too often therefore you need to get the ball rolling. Start by finding out what help and support is available in your area. There are a lot of courses available for free that can help you build your confidence in job hunting. Think about the people who can help you. Start building and improving your job hunting skills as soon as possible. When people have up to date skills and knowledge they feel more confident about their abilities and better equipped to face possible challenges.
Having routine
One of the things that has the biggest impact on losing your self esteem and confidence is a lack of purpose and direction. Often people who become unemployed suddenly have a lot of time on their hands so they plod along through their day and before they know it, a week, or a month is gone and their situation has not changed. Having a routine and staying focused is essential. Your job now is looking for a job. Have a plan of exactly what you are going to do each day to improve your situation and make sure you stick to it. Commit to your plan like you would commit if you were employed and paid for your work. Knowing exactly what you have to do and having a purpose to get out of bed each morning will motivate you and increase your self esteem.
Be accountable
It is important during this difficult time to have somebody you can talk to, share your concerns or bounce ideas off. Being accountable to somebody who can give you support, encouragement and keep you on track can be very motivating. Having this other person, whether it is a coach, friend or job search buddy can make a massive difference in how you feel. Knowing that you have somebody to report to about your achievements will make you more committed and motivate you to achieve your goal. When you see or feel you are moving forward and progressing, your confidence and self belief will increase naturally.
Keep a positive attitude
Staying positive and sustaining your self esteem when facing unemployment or being unemployed can be a bigger challenge than one may think. It is very important to feed your mind and body with good quality “fuel”. Use positive language, choose positive thoughts, appreciate yourself for your progress and your achievements. When you catch yourself feeding your mind with negative and unhelpful thoughts such as “I am not good enough”, “There is no way I will get this job” etc, make sure you change and replace them with empowering and positive language. Our subconscious mind is very powerful and sooner or later will believe what you say to it. Choose the words you feed to your mind wisely. Positive language will have a positive effect on your body language, how you feel and the decisions you make.
Many unemployed people have taken advantage of their situation and turned their life around for the better, often achieving goals they would never have reached if they had not spent some time being unemployed. It is your choice on how you will approach this challenge.
I am going to share with you a few things that might help you to stay positive, sustain your self-esteem and keep focused during this challenging time.
Accept the reality
Everyone reacts differently to change. Some people strive on challenge and see this situation as a new opportunity, others associate change with a source of great stress. Ultimately, there are two things you can do: accept your reality, recognise that your situation has changed and that you need to start thinking about strategies to improve it; or choose to think that you deserve a break after all those years of hard work and that things will just fall into place and sort themselves out.
You may want to have a short holiday or a break to think things through and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact a short break can be an ideal time to get inspiration and to feel positive about the future. However when you have had the break, it is important to start taking action as you may suddenly realise that things don’t fall into place on their own and you need to do something about it. Some people just want to bury their head in the sand and hope that all the stress will go away. Well, denial will not make your problems disappear or change your situation for the better. It may only help you feel better for a short time but in the long run it may drain your positive energy and replace it with stress and sadness.
Take time to think about your strengths, skills and resources
It is common that when people face redundancy or are unemployed, they start questioning their skills and abilities. It is important to take time out to analyse and evaluate your strengths, skills and resources. What skills or resources could help you in this challenging period? Who could help or support you through this change? Or, what are you good at? Sometimes, a simple question like this seems far more complicated during unemployment because people too often concentrate on the negatives and things that they are not good at. If you struggle to answer this, think about your previous achievements, things you are proud of however small they may be. What skills helped you achieve it? You can also ask your friends, family or your manager to add their contribution to your skills list. When you realise how many great skills and attributes you have, it will not only improve your confidence but will also make you feel good about yourself.
What do you want to do next?
When you find out about losing your job, especially a job you enjoy and love, your world can come crashing down and you may have no idea what to do next. Spending some time thinking about your new direction and career plan will help you get clarity. What job are you going to look for? People often make the mistake of applying for any old job available because they feel like they have to find something quickly. But will getting a less suitable job mean that you are going to sustain it and enjoy it? Of course, you need to take your experience into consideration and be realistic. However, remember that if you don’t know where you are heading, how will you know when you get there? Having a clear goal and direction is essential. It will help you stay focused, in control and confident.
Prepare yourself
When people find out that they are going to be made redundant, they might be a little bit lost in terms of what to do next.
Some employers may offer help to their employees and provide access to various courses and training that can help you improve your CV, jobsearch skills or interview skills. Unfortunately, the reality is that this does not happen too often therefore you need to get the ball rolling. Start by finding out what help and support is available in your area. There are a lot of courses available for free that can help you build your confidence in job hunting. Think about the people who can help you. Start building and improving your job hunting skills as soon as possible. When people have up to date skills and knowledge they feel more confident about their abilities and better equipped to face possible challenges.
Having routine
One of the things that has the biggest impact on losing your self esteem and confidence is a lack of purpose and direction. Often people who become unemployed suddenly have a lot of time on their hands so they plod along through their day and before they know it, a week, or a month is gone and their situation has not changed. Having a routine and staying focused is essential. Your job now is looking for a job. Have a plan of exactly what you are going to do each day to improve your situation and make sure you stick to it. Commit to your plan like you would commit if you were employed and paid for your work. Knowing exactly what you have to do and having a purpose to get out of bed each morning will motivate you and increase your self esteem.
Be accountable
It is important during this difficult time to have somebody you can talk to, share your concerns or bounce ideas off. Being accountable to somebody who can give you support, encouragement and keep you on track can be very motivating. Having this other person, whether it is a coach, friend or job search buddy can make a massive difference in how you feel. Knowing that you have somebody to report to about your achievements will make you more committed and motivate you to achieve your goal. When you see or feel you are moving forward and progressing, your confidence and self belief will increase naturally.
Keep a positive attitude
Staying positive and sustaining your self esteem when facing unemployment or being unemployed can be a bigger challenge than one may think. It is very important to feed your mind and body with good quality “fuel”. Use positive language, choose positive thoughts, appreciate yourself for your progress and your achievements. When you catch yourself feeding your mind with negative and unhelpful thoughts such as “I am not good enough”, “There is no way I will get this job” etc, make sure you change and replace them with empowering and positive language. Our subconscious mind is very powerful and sooner or later will believe what you say to it. Choose the words you feed to your mind wisely. Positive language will have a positive effect on your body language, how you feel and the decisions you make.
Many unemployed people have taken advantage of their situation and turned their life around for the better, often achieving goals they would never have reached if they had not spent some time being unemployed. It is your choice on how you will approach this challenge.
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